Darkknight: One before the decade...

As a fading note from one of Hans Zimmer's works plays in the background...fireworks light up the end of a new decade and Im staring at my laptop screen...with everyone snoring at the home, I refuse to look out the window to what people believe is the end of a journey and the beginning of another. I look back at the decade thats gone by than just the year thats gone by and I feel...thats quite a lot for about a little more than 2 and a half decades!

I flip through my phonebook trying to call someone desperately and that 'someone' is either not there on that list or names that can wait for the sun to rise...there is no name that can be called now at this dire hour...the turn of a new decade. The only ones I actually call are my best friends and a few cousins. Most friends and acquaintances are either partying or out of their homes...as ever and boring...Im at home as usual (not being the party types). Sigh!

But at that given moment, a sign of emptiness and a little void I must admit. A vacuum that makes me reach out to memories of my past and long for a better future. The present is good but not as better as what it was before...guess at that moment, it feels the same when I was in my past. As one can notice by now, Im mumbling and trying to convey something like Im on a high or partially stoned.

New Year resolutions still had a few minutes for sure, but certain things were already on my mind. 2010 would mark my comeback to writing poetry after more than a year and a half's break. It also marks my venture into the wonderful landscape of Bass Guitaring! Well, all of this looks intimidating but worth locking horns with. What is also looking promising is my fitness rigour and my run at cricket tournaments. Looks exciting for sure.

What looks better I guess is a little soul searching and soul-mate searching in the coming months. My battles with my preferences versus what my folks want and all those family fueds that may arise at the event. Looks like a big family soap opera the way things are coming up...

The advent of such nationalistic politics and aggression has certainly fired up my brains...I see myself certainly going towards the angry-youth-burn-the-town form which is like an avatar of 'Incredible Hulk'. Boy! If things were really like that...imagine what all would be possible! My brain is now ticking...a comic strip coming soon...what say?

I was looking back as to how Ive survived in my life...Ive had say 2 lives...and Im damn lucky to still be alive. There is a birthmark on my neck which signifies my second life...where some sort of Umbilical Chord (correct me if Im wrong here) got wound up my neck when I was being delivered. I did lose my pulse but came back to life in a few moments. The scars that will remind me of how lucky I really am.

Ive been rescued from drowning too! I was at sea in Kuwait when a friend and I had been on this swimming competition and we swam a tad too far. I remember hitting a rock and injuring my toe and in that pain, I lost breath and tempo of my swimming and I gasped for life. A few hand signals to the shore and I see a gentleman swim feverishly to my direction...the next thing I remember was being resuscitated and brought back to life...puking all the sea water out. A relieved but upset mom and dad...not knowing whether to scold me or hold me close. Third time lucky...I survived to see the light of day for the next few decades.

Accidents aplenty...bicycle, scooter, bike, auto-rickshaw...its been a crazy life for sure! my elbows knees are decorated with scars, stitches, cuts and bruises. Ive always been fascinated with glory of war and only then did I realize that most scars aren't memorable especially the ones of war. But being a non-soldier entity, I dint take that very seriously. Macho and muscle was in the air and showing off was all a part of the game...childhood fantasies I say!

The first Gulf War was a strong influence in my life on how I viewed the world on the whole and my beliefs about life in general. Seeing an ugly side of life does influence ones actions and thinking to a great extent and it did so to me for sure. Being an evacuvee in dire circumstances, has certainly prompted me to write a book about this...hopefully make a true story movie for sure...lets see how this one goes...

Been in and out of love so many times that each time I narrate a tale, it sounds like that of a loser and Ive always been a laughing stock or a sorry figure who is still in pursuit of his muse. Much I have learnt relentlessly like a movie is each script. Another movie in the making...hopefully life should come full circle soon!

As one can figure out by now...this being a scrambled article before the decade ends, there is no theme, subject or any direction. I must begin on random scribblings to reduce the burden on my heart, mind and soul to come up with something quick...but figured out, what would the purpose be? A reader must be touched at at least one point...mind, heart, soul or skin. If that has been achieved, then Im not that bad a writer (this would include being a poet or an author).

I look back at the leviathan father time and never ending ticking clock that creeps like a sloth in the dark...realize that its almost 2am...and Im wide awake. The bed is yet to be laid and my dreams are yet to begin and take shape. The last note of Hans Zimmer's work echoes and fades out and I almost crash with a fistful of hopes and handful of dreams. God knows where I am heading...please take me home...