One before the decade...

As a fading note from one of Hans Zimmer's works plays in the background...fireworks light up the end of a new decade and Im staring at my laptop screen...with everyone snoring at the home, I refuse to look out the window to what people believe is the end of a journey and the beginning of another. I look back at the decade thats gone by than just the year thats gone by and I feel...thats quite a lot for about a little more than 2 and a half decades!

I flip through my phonebook trying to call someone desperately and that 'someone' is either not there on that list or names that can wait for the sun to rise...there is no name that can be called now at this dire hour...the turn of a new decade. The only ones I actually call are my best friends and a few cousins. Most friends and acquaintances are either partying or out of their homes...as ever and boring...Im at home as usual (not being the party types). Sigh!

But at that given moment, a sign of emptiness and a little void I must admit. A vacuum that makes me reach out to memories of my past and long for a better future. The present is good but not as better as what it was before...guess at that moment, it feels the same when I was in my past. As one can notice by now, Im mumbling and trying to convey something like Im on a high or partially stoned.

New Year resolutions still had a few minutes for sure, but certain things were already on my mind. 2010 would mark my comeback to writing poetry after more than a year and a half's break. It also marks my venture into the wonderful landscape of Bass Guitaring! Well, all of this looks intimidating but worth locking horns with. What is also looking promising is my fitness rigour and my run at cricket tournaments. Looks exciting for sure.

What looks better I guess is a little soul searching and soul-mate searching in the coming months. My battles with my preferences versus what my folks want and all those family fueds that may arise at the event. Looks like a big family soap opera the way things are coming up...

The advent of such nationalistic politics and aggression has certainly fired up my brains...I see myself certainly going towards the angry-youth-burn-the-town form which is like an avatar of 'Incredible Hulk'. Boy! If things were really like that...imagine what all would be possible! My brain is now ticking...a comic strip coming soon...what say?

I was looking back as to how Ive survived in my life...Ive had say 2 lives...and Im damn lucky to still be alive. There is a birthmark on my neck which signifies my second life...where some sort of Umbilical Chord (correct me if Im wrong here) got wound up my neck when I was being delivered. I did lose my pulse but came back to life in a few moments. The scars that will remind me of how lucky I really am.

Ive been rescued from drowning too! I was at sea in Kuwait when a friend and I had been on this swimming competition and we swam a tad too far. I remember hitting a rock and injuring my toe and in that pain, I lost breath and tempo of my swimming and I gasped for life. A few hand signals to the shore and I see a gentleman swim feverishly to my direction...the next thing I remember was being resuscitated and brought back to life...puking all the sea water out. A relieved but upset mom and dad...not knowing whether to scold me or hold me close. Third time lucky...I survived to see the light of day for the next few decades.

Accidents aplenty...bicycle, scooter, bike, auto-rickshaw...its been a crazy life for sure! my elbows knees are decorated with scars, stitches, cuts and bruises. Ive always been fascinated with glory of war and only then did I realize that most scars aren't memorable especially the ones of war. But being a non-soldier entity, I dint take that very seriously. Macho and muscle was in the air and showing off was all a part of the game...childhood fantasies I say!

The first Gulf War was a strong influence in my life on how I viewed the world on the whole and my beliefs about life in general. Seeing an ugly side of life does influence ones actions and thinking to a great extent and it did so to me for sure. Being an evacuvee in dire circumstances, has certainly prompted me to write a book about this...hopefully make a true story movie for sure...lets see how this one goes...

Been in and out of love so many times that each time I narrate a tale, it sounds like that of a loser and Ive always been a laughing stock or a sorry figure who is still in pursuit of his muse. Much I have learnt relentlessly like a movie is each script. Another movie in the making...hopefully life should come full circle soon!

As one can figure out by now...this being a scrambled article before the decade ends, there is no theme, subject or any direction. I must begin on random scribblings to reduce the burden on my heart, mind and soul to come up with something quick...but figured out, what would the purpose be? A reader must be touched at at least one point...mind, heart, soul or skin. If that has been achieved, then Im not that bad a writer (this would include being a poet or an author).

I look back at the leviathan father time and never ending ticking clock that creeps like a sloth in the dark...realize that its almost 2am...and Im wide awake. The bed is yet to be laid and my dreams are yet to begin and take shape. The last note of Hans Zimmer's work echoes and fades out and I almost crash with a fistful of hopes and handful of dreams. God knows where I am heading...please take me home...


(Note - The painting is by Gustave Caillebotte: "Young Man at His Window" 1875 Oil on canvas 117 x 82 cm Private collection)

Nail the Enigma V

Here is the last enigma of the decade...not that this would be the end of it all! Hope you can crack this one...Nail the Enigma V

A thousand words with the nod of the head
A single meaning with the dip of the eye
An unexplainable mystified emotion of Eve
The epic of love shrunk in one quick moment

As simple but powerful as it can get. Make sure you stretch your imagination and see what you can discover in these lines...the closer you get, the better it is...but you are most welcome with extremes!

Till the next cut is delivered...happy reading!

Delightful December...

The December of 2009 couldn't have got better at least in the last decade of my life...and what a way to wrap up the decade...in style and in surprising success! To me, this was obviously wasn't easy...time has been a good father and has tested me in ways Id never imagine. It only makes sense that good things finish last and last forever. So here is a short description of how delightful (in many ways) my December was...

A 2 year wait came to a climatic close as the news of my poems inclusion in an anthology was finally being considered for print and publish. This would be the first news in my 12 year writing career that such a dream is coming true. Though the release has been pushed to the next decade, this is a news that any poet can feel elated about. In a world where publishers have shunned me away stating "Poetry Doesn't Sell", Prakriti Foundation has broken that myth for me and have brought this long cherished dream alive. Four of my works will feature in an anthology that will feature some of the most amazing poets from all over the country (those who participated in the 2007-2008 Poetry with Prakriti Festival). This to me will remain in my books, one of the best moments in my life as poet and as a person. Lesson - Persistence Pays!

What followed suit was an out of the world announcement. The US Consulate in collaboration with the Prakriti Foundation decided to give th art of poetry a bigger and probably the biggest stage in the form of the Poetry Slam Festival ( a version of the Brave New Voices). What amazed me even further that when I received an Invite not only to participate in the festival but as one of the featured poet for the event. This shot me through the roof as this was something I wasn't expecting in my life at all and to be a part of Poetry's biggest celebration and performance, was quite an honor. More so ever, the entire event garnered a lot of press coverage and shockingly, there was a life size snap of yours truly with some amazing words written about the event and about the performances. It was my first time on-stage in 10 years as a performing poet...much has changed since then and this time I did well...I could feel it and it has come a long way.

December also got a lot more musical for me personally as I decided to take my year long strumming on my Acoustic to the next level. I finally decided to buy my Electric Bass Guitar...what a defining moment in my life yet again...and an expensive one...but a worthy investment. Any musical investment must be encouraged and is always one of the wisest things to do. The 4 string bass was a beauty the moment I saw her (though i had been researching quite a bit on what to buy but this caught my fascination)...an Ibanez GSR200 Black model. Honestly, in my pursuit to music in life this will stand out as the biggest decisions and one of the best moments that has given me a bit of confidence more than anything else. Its a matter of time now...

What amazed me even more at that time was that my parents officially began their alliance search for my marriage. I found it very funny for a start as they (for a change) spoke of my future as a married man and all of that jazz. It was interesting as I kind of felt good about losing my single-ship and stepping into a more settled form of lifestyle. Online registrations, horoscope exchanges, matching criterion, temple visits, consultations aplenty! Name it and the whole family was into it all. Friends and cousins doing their bit by their usual teasing and kidding and what not! For a change, it was quite a pleasant change from the mundane and routine life that began to set in. Things happen for a good reason Id reckon...guess it was the sign of things to come. It was now only a matter of choice...rather destiny! Love the suspense bit...

A moral victory came through in December in the form of my confirmation in my current organization. This was a critical moment in my life at that stage because this was like a slap in the face of one of my cousin brothers who thought this lad would do nothing without his help! Well cousin...can you feel the heat now! (I had to censor this). I feel so good when I say that and I wouldnt mind saying that publicly because thats how much insult and disgrace he had brought upon me. Guess the best way to reply was by pure action and this confirmation was like a shot in the arm! Toiled hard relentlessly and tested by fire and brimstone...and finally my first victory against all odds.

Chennai had been through a rough dry spell and there was a major lull in the environment. The heat got to all of us and it rained fire in the month of December! But soon it was all gone as Chennai witnessed a relentlessly long-due storm that hit us for almost a fortnight. The sun was nowhere to be seen and it was quite a sight and a time for all of us. The dark skies engulfed like a blanket over the sun and the water ravaged the city like an onslaught. To me it was music to the ears and a portrait to the eyes. Every man-made thing was put to the test of mother nature's fury and we were all at her mercy. Power cuts, cracked roads, overflowing bridges, destroyed fields, closed institutions, umbrella sales...name it and you had it in Chennai...that too in the winter of 2009 December!

What capped the month off finally was quite sportive for both me and the country! Well, honestly Ive improved on my fitness regime in order to compete on a larger field of the game of cricket. Indeed it did take a good shape and I got myself into a good team with a few friends and we also got into a league tournament which saw us take a 3-0 lead in the group play-offs. But what got me really on a high was the fact that India, for the very first time in its history, became the No. 1 Test Playing nation in the world. All first times happen for the first and last times....because after that one has already been a part of that moment and its a matter of history repeating itself. This landmark moment was history itself and I personally was witness to it (amongst billions). To me, test cricket is the toughest form of the game and to be the best nation in the world takes some courage, character and charisma. Under the leadership of Mahendra Singh Dhoni now, we seem to have all this and many more to that list...in fact I wouldnt be surprised if there might be case studies written about him and the team in many a B-School. Such has been the impact of his leadership style at such a young age and hats off to him and all the players that made it possible. Jai Ho!

As one can see it by now, lot of things to celebrate about in this month...personally, professionally, publicly and nationally! 2009 indeed was a rocking year with a few of my favorite metal bands that kickstarted a rocking year and a delightful december to close it all. Hopefully this new year and the new decade brings about all the best things in life...A very happy new year to all the readers and thanks for being such wonderful followers...cheers!



(The image is that of the Winged Victory Princes' Gates at the CNE Grounds in Toronto. For a more interesting reading on the original headless Nike statue at the Louvre, do check out this link -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winged_Victory_of_Samothrace)