New Abode...All Aboard!

It was exactly 12 years ago in Chennai, when I saw my Mom and Dad lose their home...in a distress sale, even before they could fully own it. For them it was a dream that came crashing down...by the hands of their own kith and kin...with that fall, for me it was a beginning of a new dream...rather, a new purpose and aim in life. Despite being downhill for all of us from there, we moved on from our past and set out to reclaim what was rightfully ours...but with a newer sense of hope. We literally moved form one neighborhood to another in those 12 years and my struggle continued in a search for my identity and a path that would get me to what I thought was a rightful reply to all those who gave us that hell. 

My concerns were bigger...being an average student and the underdog that I was all the time, getting into the creme-de-la-creme was ruled out. My other activities like sports, social service, quizzing, poetry etc was not going to get me anywhere financially or economically for my family. So, I ended up taking what came my way...my B.Com in correspondence was an uneventful blot in my life...dreams of going to a good college was pushed under the carpet and I think and hope this made me stronger and self driven (what one can say to keep their souls intact!). At that point in time, I had idea how I could pursue a future in repute as being a part of the correspondence brigade in this societal perspective was taboo...but I kept moving on. 

Dad's job wasn't stable and many of his friends and relatives kept the engines and wheels moving at home...it wasn't my style of dealing with problems...but I had to agree and move on. Small achievements and recognitions paved my way but it dint seem like a big deal at all at home...they smiled and moved on...so did I. The third year of my course saw my institute close down, us being labelled as the last batch...so then came another question mark being thrown at me...I moved on to a smaller tutor classes and still fought on...on my own. And in 2004, after three years of tumultuous penning and bus journeys with relentless struggles, stooped shoulders, dropping chin...I graduated (without arrears in correspondence!) touching 60%...well nothing to be proud of that number...but something I was happy with because the fight was mine...and I dint go down. 

The Averageness in me carried forward to my Post Graduation days...struggling for that relative grading in my CAT / MAT / XAT entrance exams...making me feel worthless. All the proclaimed genius buds that would attend classes, scribble notes, answer questions etc...would literally make me feel like a foot-soldier...I moved on, fought on...no peers at home who could hand-hold or speak to. But then it happened...got a call from an institute which recognized my XAT score and then...the fight was worth it...the scanty ranking dint make me proud...but I had overcome my past and moved on to fight another battle...(non AICTE institute is another taboo in our societal behavior)

This was another shark pool altogether...and I had to dig down deep to find a new upgraded version of myself. This time the stakes were higher and it was not going to be easy at all. Firstly my father's support system let him down...all kith and kin refused to finance my studies except for my mom's relatives who came forward with a generous offering...I firmly believe that help will come when you need it the most from the people who matter the most...another lesson for all at home. And this gave me the energy to move on and fight my new battles for 2 years in Bangalore...it had it all - from prophesying professors, testing papers, enigmatic characters, fumbled administration to diabolical people and twisted motives intertwined with beautiful moments, great friends, new dreams, painful birthdays, new behaviors, spirited discoveries and tragic comedies. 

In 2006, after many thought (including myself) it wasn't heading anywhere...I graduated again...this time on, the grade wasn't something I was both proud and happy, but I knew I would get the job I wanted the most...and I got it. Despite hypes and hooplas of fellow batch-mates of some companies picking graded folks and smart cookies...I decided to shun the placement office away and with a help of a good friend, got a lead which I could then pursue. It was after they declared me the 2nd person to get a call-sheet and the second last to leave the campus...that was the best the placement committee could get...that's why I fight my own battles, in my own way...and after getting bruised and battered physically and mentally, I fought on and moved on to better stories to tell. 

My first job in 2006 was in a firm that offered me all the slices of the pie in my domain. This meant all my batchmates were just having one of the slices. To me, this was one of those small victories...though it had its own down-side - not the greatest of pay for sure...but then I decided to move on and keep fighting. My bosses had a hard time chipping away the rough edges, picking my brains, testing my temperament and mould me to the man I am today...the sum of all experiences. So did my next job in 2009 and my current which I joined in 2011. All in all 7 years of pursuing what I like the most. I dare ask how many are doing theirs...which brings me back to the first line with which I began this blog with...

In 2010 I got married to a very smart, independent and driven young woman I had ever met before. Nothing in our likes matched...we are polar opposites and she's more educated and learned than me. Just like when I needed help the most in my ultimate dream, she walked into my life and partnered in helping me seek that dream...in 2013 after almost 2 years of planning (of all sorts), we eyed a place in Chennai which we thought would be our abode...well, let me not hide the struggle here...my dad and mom would just not agree or would keep shifting my focus to other areas. While we were actively touring the city inside out, my dad would still be watching matches and my mom would still be cooking and my brother would strum his guitar. 

And by the power vested in us, both me and my wife moved on and kept fightign whatever negativity or objection that came in our path. Little was the support and motivation as usual and it only made me stronger and made me want to earn it. I agree that there have been points where my dad has helped me in tough times, but those were battles where I dint ask help for and it came my way...in other words, I dint earn it.

With the limited power of funds and the unlimited supply of will and self-drive, we moved in to our new apartment...everyone (friends, family, colleagues) around us was over the moon and were happy for us...something I hadn't seen in more than a decade...some even commenting great about the choice of area, some even complimenting genuinely that it was commendable to do something like this at that age...(I was 30 when all of this transpired) and some of them felt that it was poetic justice that was served when the same kith and kin were present when they saw it unfold in their eyes. Sad part was in all these 12 years, my dad was not confident of this silent battle that I was fighting for 12 years and it took other folks around him to convince him that I had taken the right decision. For me it was a dream come true, it was more than a decade worth of blood, sweat and tears....but then I moved on and had to fight another day...this time I have my loving wife to give me company as we took our promises at our wedding 3 years back, it continues to hold true and deep. If it wasn't for her determination, drive and dream, I wouldn't have made this far...and this dream wouldn't have been fulfilled. When you need it the most, you get all the help you need...and she was god-sent.

We are away from the main city and now travel double the distance, find alternatives and seek other means, save a lot more in all aspects...something we were mentally prepared to do...a new kind of battle was beginning and I was already on my way. Some are still coming to terms and appreciate as to how I made it without any dependance, borrowing or sympathy...they will never get the answers...and Ill always keep it to myself. One has to simply undergo this journey and experience it...despite knowing what their destination is...it is the path that matters, it is the beating that you take and still making it to your feet and keep fighting that matters. That's the spirit I always live by...I know my brother has just stepped into such a journey...and I wish him well.

I am standing now...ready for another fight, for I may have won the battle thus far...but this war is far from over!

 

(pic source - http://guillaumgibault.deviantart.com/art/Bruce-Lee-200377861?q=boost%3Apopular+bruce+lee&qo=75)

Mighty Mouse!!!

All of us have been troubled by this little creature...well it has charmed us equally as well. But can it inspire and show us courage in unusual times and places? Of course it can...their persistence and presence of mind is a wonder I am yet to fathom...though they have brought down kingdoms with just their family's humungous presence and spread!  Defiant and Desperate...they have survived the ages and have remained the same...a rare attribute indeed. 

But what I am to narrate is just one tale of courage which will certainly enhance our perspective of this creature. Just visualize this...those petrified eyes, praying paws, shivering whiskers and that villainous nose at work!

Rushing at Mount Road amidst the traffic rush and a speeding clock on my wrists reminding that Im late to work! Abusing, honking, screeching, overtaking...name it, you got it! Its just the usual start to any day...and Chennai is no exception! The dictionary opens its fancy pages and all the words pour like tar sticking to stone...

Amidst all of this exactly at a point called Thousand Lights (Near Greames Road), I saw something that happened for 5 seconds that looked like something that happened for 5 minutes...our protagonist is desperately trying to cross the road on all fours...to it, we are all...GIANTS on a roll! The little brown thing was dodging, jumping, scampering, squeaking and what not...all just to get to the other side of the road...without getting squashed under someone's wheeles...

Sometimes we tend to sight something which is meant to be witnessed despite what happens in our surroundings...like looking into the eyes of a stranger in a packed bus (when you could have seen the person next to them) etc etc...

Similarly this happened too...amidst all that chaos my eyes were glued to my troubled protagonist who in that 5 seconds managed to capture my attention and set my mind racing to see if he would end up safe or not...for his benefit, I got out of his way, avoided squashing him and went on my way...

But something prompted me to look back just to check if everything was alright...and just when I turned my head....the little mighty mouse made it to the other side, with a leap of faith like Michael Jordan jumping to the hoops!

Just when I thought it was a happy ending, I turned my head to resume my journey, I had to hit the sudden break to save my nose from being squashed at the back of a jeep...and I then got back to my abusive journey to work...but this tale kept me smiling all day long...

Cheers Might Mouse!!!

Tea Time Tale...

Cloudy evening...break from busy office hours and a hot cup of lemon tea. Peeking out of the 3rd floor window to an awesome view of the age old port, the historic railway station and the murky old seas...Dare House at Parry's Corner.

Nostalgic memories race by on any cloudy and overcast day (much to my relief)...to all the good times Ive had especially in school(s) (as many as 5 schools in my history)...and what came to mind was the out of the gate conversations we used to hold in great animation and hilarity that even passers by had a giggle or a grump when they passed across us.

Topics galore...from inter/intra school issues to parents / cartoons / cricket / Ads / music / movies...basically everything except studies (though we spoke about our teachers as well). Worst part would always be that I would end up going home late and then the barrage from my folks...same story (report rather) would follow suit the next day when we would meet again.

We hardly do this when we grow up dont we? Some of us join for a puff of smoke or a cup of tea around the corner and catch up on a variety of issues...personal and official. Those days we dint need all those stimulants...

It struck me today after what I saw and also after remembering those good times...with which I will conclude later (for which you will have to read on...)

Coming back to the view from the window...I scan slowly to see the story of the streets and almost everyday is a joy to watch...I just realized that almost all of us have now started staring at screens and have forgotten to look out the window...so today was one of those days where I took my option...

A bunch of boys (7 to 8 of them) outside the parking lot of the Madras High Court, waving their arms and shaking their heads in a very animated way, like a symphony conductor on stage...they were excited about something...reviewing the day perhaps! My eyes stuck to them...dont know why but it brought a smile to my face...and the flashbacks screaming by...

Some was gesturing whether to take the next bus to rush back home, one was pulling them to the tea & biscuit stall, one chiding the other by striking his forehead and pointing to the corner, one waving his hands and gesturing a hug or the entire universe...like a confused hummingbird, my eyes were just capturing each action and reaction...

I kept smiling and this went on till the tea in my hands was warm to gulp down half a cup...till one thing hit my eye...one of the boys had a hearing aid in his right ear...that's when the pattern emerged...they were all using Sign Language to communicate...and it dint bother them at all...it was then I realized that even in silence, there we can have a sound conversation.

To my interpretation...I thought one was gesturing that he should have spoken to that girl in the bus, and the others telling him, you should have tried in school and the next gesturing that nevermind and he would see her tomorrow anyways, and the last one concerned pulls the shirt of our hero and tells him "lets go have tea for now, tomorrow will try again!"

As I said before...it struck me today after what I saw and also after remembering those good times...that even in silence we can have a sound conversation amidst all the rush, chaos and madness. Do we make an attempt...we should! Do we make it happen...we must!

After so may trials and tribulations, we still suffer from communication errors that cost us a lot...seeing this kids drove the message in my head that to be understood, one must be heard out first and clearly responded too...just a sign would do...wouldnt it?

With that 5 minutes of observation and a hot cup of lemon tea down my throat, another lesson learnt with a smile on my face which disappears when the boss then calls...asking for his report and I go back to staring at the world I think it is...

(Photo Source - http://bignews.biz/primages/19/deaf_children_PR.jpg)

The buck stops here...but where?

Millions of citizens snake their ways to work to do something incredible that will assure them of their monthly pay, job security, family safety, health and well being...its a war day by day. Dreams are in the range of a few thousands a month and lakhs a year...some even below that imaginable line...which is inching higher and higher and making us just...insignificant.

But what shocks the shit out of me is the fact that we have forgotten that one appetite can only be so much that can be consumed...of course many bite more than what they can chew...enter opulence & luxury.

My point is this...whats the use? Saving for future generations who wont give a damn once your soul exits your body? Im more bothered about the Here & Now...are we doing enough for the Here & Now...but doing everything possible for a tomorrow which we are not certain to even witness...

The Government is so hell bent on future initiatives that they have forgotten the current scene, grass root, basic issues of Poverty, Hunger, Power (I meant electricity) and of course corruption...I hate to lose confidence on my country and Im not willing to give up. Id like to fight...but theres always a price to pay!

With all the scams and controversies, we are not doing the rightful thing of serving this country with clean hands. Stains everywhere and blackened hearts...where is the light, where is the hope? Promises have been a dead slow process and reality is even further...

Crores has become a tag word for everyone who even hasnt been there in the thousand category as i described earlier. Its become a joke! Everyones pocket has ballooned up so much and become so huge that its become difficult to find the entry point...it has swelled and impregnated with paper and power...that we dont know where it all began and have no clue where this will all lead to...leave the end of it all!

I strongly feel that the day we know our limitations...we will know to live on contentment. Else we will be restless souls in an endless search for fame, wealth and power.

Rapes, Murders, Kidnappings, Terrorism, Thefts, Strikes, Riots, Suicides, Extortion, Arms, Hoarding...it all exists, Im not denying this at all. One must realize that where there is evil, there will always be good. No one is born evil, they are made so by people, purposes and situations...

My worry is that each part of India (North, East, West and South) have all been immersed in some burning issue that even dealing to solve is like burning ones fingers...thats how deep it has impacted us and this country's image.

Something else that worries me is the 'Chalta Hai / Parava Illa / Doesn't Matter' attitued and some issued have become literally like a slap in the face...If you want a positive future where sanity can prevail, we cannot be in a state which allows such absurdities to happen and then curtail in the name of the law...too little too late!

In Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne tells Alfred " I'm going to show the people of Gotham that the city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt. People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy...and I cant do that as Bruce Wayne...A man is just flesh and blood and can be ignored or destroyed. But as a symbol... as a symbol, I can be incorruptible, everlasting."

This is where Im coming from...my heart aches for this country but somewhere my hands are tied as a human being...but id like to be a symbol that brings in that change...I dont know how or where...but I have a dream...for a better future...whose actions lie in today...the Here & Now...

Point is where will it all begin, where it would lead to, when it would end...no one knows. But we will certainly need one too many heroes for each issue rolling on and rescue us from such a misery. A hero can be anyone, that's the point of being a symbol!

I have a question for all the evil elements in this nation...Do you think this will last? I strongly feel that for peace, we have to prepare for war and this will come at a price...but are we willing to pay for this or continue in our current lifestyle of passivity and impasse? Ill leave it to you...but dont let your country down by inaction...dont let it fail by ignorance. Feel the fire, let it burn in our guts...stand up and shout!

Just because there is no one to question actions, people think that can lawless rampantly and then go into hiding? Do they think this tyranny will keep us all down? Of course we will survive, but can they? They were so wrong...Your buck stops here...from today!

Till the next cut is delivered...

Now that a long due rant is over, I can focus on more creative articles! Hopefully this is the last of the outpour! :)

How the game was won...

I’ve been playing serious cricket since my childhood and I’ve always been in a position where I have led a team because of some weird reason quoted once...that I was one of the tallest guys in the team! Warp speed to today...I’ve led taller people in my team, so it’s not about the height at all.

But in the last 6 years of my life, I have played a lot of city league tournaments and corporate teams and the joy has just been immense...because in all these years, I have created teams from scratch and gone on to have great wins and some sore losses. One learns that winning and losing is a part of the journey that teaches you a lot more.

It taught me to know more about people, their temperaments and hidden instincts that are generally curbed in their corporate outfits. It’s a joy to see each person unleash such character and diverse reactions that each person you thought you know, were a lot deeper that what met the eye.

I’m very passionate & loyal to the game and this is quite evident by my behaviour on the ground. I may not look like the fittest guy around, but out of nowhere, I can tend to surprise people with a few dives and outplay them in stamina. Of course the hard work and the experience is what got me there...but when I’m on the field, I mean business (obviously with the intent of having fun).

But what I have learnt the most is that it is the people management in ones team that makes it a successful one or otherwise. I have seen ordinary people pull off extraordinary performances in tough situations. I have also see that those who tend to promise a lot through speech, often don’t do much...though I have been fooled in that aspect as well.

It takes time to trust a team and time for the team to believe in a captain. It’s a mutual process which needs a careful investment of time and effort with a consistent set of members...it’s true that it works both ways...top-down and Bottom-Up. Commitment and Communication is critical and a general assessment of everyone’s skill plus character is critical for a captain.

I’ve always started with a 20 probable squad and slowly worked up with a final 15 man squad. We have the usual physical fitness session and followed by a nets practice session over a period of say 2 to 3 months (if there is adequate time before a tournament begins). The fun part is in knowing your team better in trivial & fun conversations during these sessions and this can be done without the captain / coach’s physical presence. All it requires is a trigger...once they see themselves unite under a banner of a team, they will relate to it and feel like working towards a single purpose...not winning, but to be affiliated to the team itself.

Being a part of a team is a social status to many youth who come from different strata of the society and from different situations and circumstances. The feeling of being counted and considered is such an important factor in getting a person to play for a team with purpose. For some it could be lost dreams come true to just get out of the habit from watching cricket to playing it on the field. For some, it is the habit of breaking away from childhood memories of not being a winner or a struggling student or simply a failure. For some, it could be a lost dream where they once in their past would have played and sheer nostalgia or a second chance in life could drive them.

I have come across people who seem quite serious at work but on field, they show their funny side through speech and action. Some of the silent ones are the ones who make the most noise on field. Unassuming ones are the ones with hidden talent and to see them perform was in itself a sheer learning for me. Lesson is to never underestimate a person and to give the right opportunity at the right time before they are judged.

Over the years, I have built some great relationships & have found some great friends and colleagues through this sport for which I am truly grateful. I have emerged as a changed person and with a different outlook over the years I have played with so many teams. I have also befriended organizers, opponents and rivals who still continue to stay in touch and invite me for matches and their nets sessions. This is amazing camaraderie which as humans we must strive for.

I’ve shed blood, sweat and tears, been intimidated, ridiculed and even appreciated and motivated by friends and foes on this hallowed field and I don’t regret any moment of it. I have been humbled, humiliated...respected and made to respect, despite age, color, time, background etc...this is what the game is capable to teach a person if willing to learn by oneself.

I would like to thank all the seniors with whom I’ve had the privilege of playing with and learning so many aspects of the game and improving on the same. This is a team sport and people supporting behind the scenes are also important and their effort in my cricketing will not go in vain. I would also like to acknowledge all my team mates in all the years of my playing who have trusted me in all times while leading them...good, bad and ugly.

I would also like to mention that I’ve also been witness to some of the best bowling, batting and fielding performances from my team mates who may seem ordinary in their office uniforms. But hand them over a pair of whites, cap and shoes...and see them fight like tigers.

My dad keeps asking me... “Isn’t the kit bag too heavy to carry on your shoulders by yourself?”. I replied... “its worth it dad”. That’s the day I learnt one thing...the day you realize that the pain is worth it, that’s when you know how the game is won...

And this is the end of the beginning!

Note  – The EID Parry Corporate Team led by me had recently beat the Region 2 Team in the intra Parry Cricket Championships in Jan 2013 at Chennai where we won by 11 runs in a thriller. If it wasn’t for my team’s courageous performance amidst all odds, the man of the match I had got would have been worthless. Complete credit to the way the boys played...the award must go to them all. Though we did not qualify for the finals due to the net run rate, we were happy with the fight we put up...we were all winners that day and for the times to come.

The winning moment...

Road Rage Ramble

We all are on the verge of becoming a local Mad Max...given the rate of road rage we experience on our way to office. Even if we are a part of the driving scene or even if we are the passenger.Fights at home have come under control and fights on road have shown a monumental increase...Id leave that to a subjective review and Im not including the reader here...they may agree or disagree. But in this article, Im going to spill my guts...

There has been an inculcated vein of madness in our reign as human beings in this current age...and we have many to blame and point our fingers towards. But somewhere, the desired inlet and outlet has been channeled to another dimension...lethal, fatal and eternal. I beg the reader to refer to their own cities and conditions...

Our speech has been derogatory and gestures have become fervent...the urge to stay ahead has driven our drive (quite literally) to accelerate and focus in our own direction and speed...leaving the universe around us in ignorant bliss...how many citizens have suffered, doesn't bother us much...and we don't give a damn!

The meaning of signals hanging tall has changed for sure...what is meant to slow us down, is now prompting us to speed up and cross the dreaded line...just because we don't want to be caught up. What is meant to stop us, is now a countdown with acceleration ready for the flag to set the race in motion...and what is meant to let us go, is a mindless 'kmph' / impress strangers battle staged with screeching rubber on tar like action movie...with mindless sound and light effects...

Writing this thus far is in itself a pressurized experience, because imagining it visually was a negative adrenaline that almost killed me creatively. Its been a while since Ive been composed on road while riding my two wheeler...I must look out constantly for myself so that I dont get my self killed or injured...worse if I have a passenger or a pillion...

Imagine this mindset with which people drive everyday...office and home seems a far better place to be at any given time...but our journey back and forth to these places seems to be the Devil's paradise...

Should we let the devil have its day or should we not fight this persistent battle till the end. How many deaths will it take to get some sense into people who think they are invincible...they have of course forgotten that we are after all...mortal! Heroes is for the movies...out here, its about life and death...and we only get one take. We are the director, we are the actors, we script our fates and we produce the outcome. How beautiful or ugly the end is, is certainly in our hands.

Id like to certainly live and die peacefully and not in a pool of blood with broken bones. Now its not a matter of choosing how you would like to live...its a matter of how you would like to die...

I don't want to play God on the road...as long as I don't play the Devil!

Please be safe and drive safe...Till the next cut is delivered...

(Image Source -  http://streetsblog.net/2010/09/20/the-psychology-of-road-rage-how-cars-transform-others-into-obstacles/)