Tea Time Tale...

Cloudy evening...break from busy office hours and a hot cup of lemon tea. Peeking out of the 3rd floor window to an awesome view of the age old port, the historic railway station and the murky old seas...Dare House at Parry's Corner.

Nostalgic memories race by on any cloudy and overcast day (much to my relief)...to all the good times Ive had especially in school(s) (as many as 5 schools in my history)...and what came to mind was the out of the gate conversations we used to hold in great animation and hilarity that even passers by had a giggle or a grump when they passed across us.

Topics galore...from inter/intra school issues to parents / cartoons / cricket / Ads / music / movies...basically everything except studies (though we spoke about our teachers as well). Worst part would always be that I would end up going home late and then the barrage from my folks...same story (report rather) would follow suit the next day when we would meet again.

We hardly do this when we grow up dont we? Some of us join for a puff of smoke or a cup of tea around the corner and catch up on a variety of issues...personal and official. Those days we dint need all those stimulants...

It struck me today after what I saw and also after remembering those good times...with which I will conclude later (for which you will have to read on...)

Coming back to the view from the window...I scan slowly to see the story of the streets and almost everyday is a joy to watch...I just realized that almost all of us have now started staring at screens and have forgotten to look out the window...so today was one of those days where I took my option...

A bunch of boys (7 to 8 of them) outside the parking lot of the Madras High Court, waving their arms and shaking their heads in a very animated way, like a symphony conductor on stage...they were excited about something...reviewing the day perhaps! My eyes stuck to them...dont know why but it brought a smile to my face...and the flashbacks screaming by...

Some was gesturing whether to take the next bus to rush back home, one was pulling them to the tea & biscuit stall, one chiding the other by striking his forehead and pointing to the corner, one waving his hands and gesturing a hug or the entire universe...like a confused hummingbird, my eyes were just capturing each action and reaction...

I kept smiling and this went on till the tea in my hands was warm to gulp down half a cup...till one thing hit my eye...one of the boys had a hearing aid in his right ear...that's when the pattern emerged...they were all using Sign Language to communicate...and it dint bother them at all...it was then I realized that even in silence, there we can have a sound conversation.

To my interpretation...I thought one was gesturing that he should have spoken to that girl in the bus, and the others telling him, you should have tried in school and the next gesturing that nevermind and he would see her tomorrow anyways, and the last one concerned pulls the shirt of our hero and tells him "lets go have tea for now, tomorrow will try again!"

As I said before...it struck me today after what I saw and also after remembering those good times...that even in silence we can have a sound conversation amidst all the rush, chaos and madness. Do we make an attempt...we should! Do we make it happen...we must!

After so may trials and tribulations, we still suffer from communication errors that cost us a lot...seeing this kids drove the message in my head that to be understood, one must be heard out first and clearly responded too...just a sign would do...wouldnt it?

With that 5 minutes of observation and a hot cup of lemon tea down my throat, another lesson learnt with a smile on my face which disappears when the boss then calls...asking for his report and I go back to staring at the world I think it is...

(Photo Source - http://bignews.biz/primages/19/deaf_children_PR.jpg)

The buck stops here...but where?

Millions of citizens snake their ways to work to do something incredible that will assure them of their monthly pay, job security, family safety, health and well being...its a war day by day. Dreams are in the range of a few thousands a month and lakhs a year...some even below that imaginable line...which is inching higher and higher and making us just...insignificant.

But what shocks the shit out of me is the fact that we have forgotten that one appetite can only be so much that can be consumed...of course many bite more than what they can chew...enter opulence & luxury.

My point is this...whats the use? Saving for future generations who wont give a damn once your soul exits your body? Im more bothered about the Here & Now...are we doing enough for the Here & Now...but doing everything possible for a tomorrow which we are not certain to even witness...

The Government is so hell bent on future initiatives that they have forgotten the current scene, grass root, basic issues of Poverty, Hunger, Power (I meant electricity) and of course corruption...I hate to lose confidence on my country and Im not willing to give up. Id like to fight...but theres always a price to pay!

With all the scams and controversies, we are not doing the rightful thing of serving this country with clean hands. Stains everywhere and blackened hearts...where is the light, where is the hope? Promises have been a dead slow process and reality is even further...

Crores has become a tag word for everyone who even hasnt been there in the thousand category as i described earlier. Its become a joke! Everyones pocket has ballooned up so much and become so huge that its become difficult to find the entry point...it has swelled and impregnated with paper and power...that we dont know where it all began and have no clue where this will all lead to...leave the end of it all!

I strongly feel that the day we know our limitations...we will know to live on contentment. Else we will be restless souls in an endless search for fame, wealth and power.

Rapes, Murders, Kidnappings, Terrorism, Thefts, Strikes, Riots, Suicides, Extortion, Arms, Hoarding...it all exists, Im not denying this at all. One must realize that where there is evil, there will always be good. No one is born evil, they are made so by people, purposes and situations...

My worry is that each part of India (North, East, West and South) have all been immersed in some burning issue that even dealing to solve is like burning ones fingers...thats how deep it has impacted us and this country's image.

Something else that worries me is the 'Chalta Hai / Parava Illa / Doesn't Matter' attitued and some issued have become literally like a slap in the face...If you want a positive future where sanity can prevail, we cannot be in a state which allows such absurdities to happen and then curtail in the name of the law...too little too late!

In Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne tells Alfred " I'm going to show the people of Gotham that the city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt. People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy...and I cant do that as Bruce Wayne...A man is just flesh and blood and can be ignored or destroyed. But as a symbol... as a symbol, I can be incorruptible, everlasting."

This is where Im coming from...my heart aches for this country but somewhere my hands are tied as a human being...but id like to be a symbol that brings in that change...I dont know how or where...but I have a dream...for a better future...whose actions lie in today...the Here & Now...

Point is where will it all begin, where it would lead to, when it would end...no one knows. But we will certainly need one too many heroes for each issue rolling on and rescue us from such a misery. A hero can be anyone, that's the point of being a symbol!

I have a question for all the evil elements in this nation...Do you think this will last? I strongly feel that for peace, we have to prepare for war and this will come at a price...but are we willing to pay for this or continue in our current lifestyle of passivity and impasse? Ill leave it to you...but dont let your country down by inaction...dont let it fail by ignorance. Feel the fire, let it burn in our guts...stand up and shout!

Just because there is no one to question actions, people think that can lawless rampantly and then go into hiding? Do they think this tyranny will keep us all down? Of course we will survive, but can they? They were so wrong...Your buck stops here...from today!

Till the next cut is delivered...

Now that a long due rant is over, I can focus on more creative articles! Hopefully this is the last of the outpour! :)

Road Rage Ramble

We all are on the verge of becoming a local Mad Max...given the rate of road rage we experience on our way to office. Even if we are a part of the driving scene or even if we are the passenger.Fights at home have come under control and fights on road have shown a monumental increase...Id leave that to a subjective review and Im not including the reader here...they may agree or disagree. But in this article, Im going to spill my guts...

There has been an inculcated vein of madness in our reign as human beings in this current age...and we have many to blame and point our fingers towards. But somewhere, the desired inlet and outlet has been channeled to another dimension...lethal, fatal and eternal. I beg the reader to refer to their own cities and conditions...

Our speech has been derogatory and gestures have become fervent...the urge to stay ahead has driven our drive (quite literally) to accelerate and focus in our own direction and speed...leaving the universe around us in ignorant bliss...how many citizens have suffered, doesn't bother us much...and we don't give a damn!

The meaning of signals hanging tall has changed for sure...what is meant to slow us down, is now prompting us to speed up and cross the dreaded line...just because we don't want to be caught up. What is meant to stop us, is now a countdown with acceleration ready for the flag to set the race in motion...and what is meant to let us go, is a mindless 'kmph' / impress strangers battle staged with screeching rubber on tar like action movie...with mindless sound and light effects...

Writing this thus far is in itself a pressurized experience, because imagining it visually was a negative adrenaline that almost killed me creatively. Its been a while since Ive been composed on road while riding my two wheeler...I must look out constantly for myself so that I dont get my self killed or injured...worse if I have a passenger or a pillion...

Imagine this mindset with which people drive everyday...office and home seems a far better place to be at any given time...but our journey back and forth to these places seems to be the Devil's paradise...

Should we let the devil have its day or should we not fight this persistent battle till the end. How many deaths will it take to get some sense into people who think they are invincible...they have of course forgotten that we are after all...mortal! Heroes is for the movies...out here, its about life and death...and we only get one take. We are the director, we are the actors, we script our fates and we produce the outcome. How beautiful or ugly the end is, is certainly in our hands.

Id like to certainly live and die peacefully and not in a pool of blood with broken bones. Now its not a matter of choosing how you would like to live...its a matter of how you would like to die...

I don't want to play God on the road...as long as I don't play the Devil!

Please be safe and drive safe...Till the next cut is delivered...

(Image Source -  http://streetsblog.net/2010/09/20/the-psychology-of-road-rage-how-cars-transform-others-into-obstacles/)

Nail the Enigma...Ei8!

In this enduring series of poetic enigma...here is the 8th random piece of mind!

Is this the end of it all...without the start?
Are there no words for me...with that silence?
Do I have to try your patience...with violence
Or does it take the rains to wipe your tears away?

Describe the picture with any parallel story on this one and let me know your views...till the next cut is delivered...

Womb to Tomb...

Sometimes I defy writing any sort of philosophy in my blog but the only places I dwell is in birth, life and death...the journey. A few weeks back, the entire journey unfolded in front of my eyes and I had to pen it down...to feel better and to learn what was in store in this uncertain but certain future. So here is my take on what I believe what we are and what we end up being...

We cry, yell, groan and finally smile when we are born...mothers who see that pain as pleasure that is certainly unforgivable. We are born naked...physically, mentally and emotionally. Wrapped and polished for the world to witness another sucker! We want everything we see, we seek, we hunger and thirst for from that moment on...and no one to stop us. We seem to think that we own what hits our sights or hearts or minds...accumulation of both the tangible and intangible then becomes our next quest in life...

Seldom do we put into use what we have gathered...but collection then becomes the order of the day...now comes the crucial thinking point...what are we collecting and what is worth collecting? In India, the quest for wealth (if you are born middle class) or the quest to survive (if you are born in the Below Poverty Line) take charge of our priorities and then all the mayhem begins...societal terms and conditions apply and we then condition to think on those terms and lose our own self in all this madness...it is here where our downfall begins...mistake me not!

We gather but do we bother to give? We take but do we bother to share? All the things in life we learn...but do they teach us how to prepare for our ends to where we go and how we go? Is there something we can establish that says...when we die...we die alone with nothing in our hands except for memories and blessings with our last breath.

My grandfathers sister who stayed with us for more than a year spent her last few weeks bed-ridden...writhing in pain and waiting for her end...a religious woman herself, all she could do was to wait for her calling...and one day it came. But her last few days and her last few words taught me a lot of things in life...and it changed my perspective completely of what we are and what we must be, before we meet our maker.

I gather wealth for survival and not for splurging...I gather knowledge to share and not to hold back from the coming generation...I love music as we are born with the most rhythmic beating of the heart...I write for the world to know of what I am and will be even after when I'm gone...I will love and spread the message of peace and love to everyone around...I don't want to die a hated soul. I learn to laugh than just collecting jokes...and I will not harm or hurt anyone here on...I may have done that in my past...intentionally or unintentionally...herewith not.

I do live in remorse and regret but I have certainly made amends and reduced those heart-burns and heartbreaks and heartaches. I have confessed, apologized, admitted etc...and I feel lighter now...my soul is ready to fly for sure. But a lot needs to be done...in this materialistic society. Intrinsic joy is the current pursuit and I am doing what my heart tells me to...my mind will be my guide...but I will do as my heart tells me. It might sound cliched or corny...but who cares? it is me...my choices that determine who I am and what will I be...it is what I do than what I say or write...

Everyone of us will meet our ends...its the journey that matters that will lead us to our ends. Its a choice we all can make...there is still time, there is still hope to all those who feel defeated and done and dusted with. When I heard those last words from that dying soul...all that mattered to me was that feeling of be happy and keep others around you happy. All that I had collected or amassed turned to dust in that moment of truth...that moment call life...death rather!

I hope my rejuvenated journey will take me to my destination...there is no map...but there is a way...the road less taken...I will one day...after it is time...when all is said and done. I will take my characterful soul with me someday...that has defined me thus far...into another world...empty handed but heart filled...I hope that after I'm gone...I am remembered in good spirits...Cheers!

Veni, vidi and 12 years to vici...

"Poetry Doesn't Sell"

"Sorry we cant publish your works"

"Its not a lucrative business opportunity"

"It wouldn't work out...we don't sell poetry"

Ive heard it all...on the phone, through letters, through e-mails and on my face...and February is when I drove those demons back to their graves and buried them forever. After persisting and persevering for over 12 years...a dream has come true and will be cherished forever...no matter how small the piece or presence looks in the entire picture...it doesn't matter. This is just the beginning...

Some might think that I might be going overboard with this story...but one shouldn't hide away from the truth...Im laying it bare as is to what the voices in my past have filled my mind and heart with. These are the voices that drove me to bounce back higher and forced them to eat their words. I have never felt so victorious in my entire life than at this moment...what seemed impossible and far-fetched is now tangible and true.

This dream took 12 years to come true (much less than some more deserving poets from pillar to post) and it took much more than I expected from me and I became a better and a stronger person. Good things don't come easy..and this wasn't easy...but at the end...it was the best of things to have ever happened. But the dream took 2 years to come to life after the actual 10 year wait...at that moment it seemed like so near but yet too far. The last mile was painful and miserable, but light at the end of the tunnel...

All credit goes to the team at Prakriti Foundation...but my first thanks in this pursuit would go to Dr. Lakshmi Ravikant who helped me get in touch with them and it was only then that things began to change...began to move...the wheels of fortune began to roll.

The 2007 Poetry with Prakriti Festival was my first gateway to this dream and this was a memorable experience. In 2008, after the first festival got over, the second edition was a promising event and got a lot more response and fervor in the circle and then the announcement was made...an anthology of all the poets with their select works to celebrate its success of the poets and the art of poetry. This was my moment of truth...but this would then take its own twists and turns for 2 long years and taught me the virtue of patience and persistence...

In February 22nd, 2010...the warm applause faded away into an evening that sounded the horns of victory. I sit in my chair and a memory of the last 12 years of my writing rushes through me in images...the founder comes to the podium and reads the introduction a warm applause follows. he then requests each poet to read out their works to showcase them to the press and the public. My turn comes and it takes me a moment to reach there and a deep breath to gather my words...

The book is in my hands and my name and works is in that book...with an ISBN (my first ever)...Poetry with Prakriti 2007 - 2008 is the title...and its pages are fragrant. Amidst some wonderful and awesomely talented poets from all over the country, my name is in that crowd somewhere. I was there...after 12 years or relentless and persistent affair with the art and now it had come boiling down to this glorious moment...and I was soaking in it. The bruises and the scars of the past were now washed away and it felt like a dip in the Holy Ganges...a rebirth.

My turn comes and my speech begins..."this is my first ever publishing effort...with an ISBN and Id like to thank everyone who made it possible...its an amazing feeling to be published along with some awesome poets from all over the country...its an honor. Its taken 12 years but its been worth every effort and drop of blood, sweat and tears. So here I am and a special thanks to my friends who made it to the evening. The poem Im about to recite is dedicated to a friend of mine who was one of my best fans and the silent critics Ive ever had...he'd be scared to even say a word but his silence was my best answer...hes no more now and the poem I'm about to recite was on his favorite themes of Pirates and Adventures...this is dedicated to him. This one is called 'Pirate I am, Aye!'

After moments passed, a drop of tear and a emotional performance...a warm but loud applause from a senior and well-read crowd gave me a feeling that could have never been better. My dad was present and was probably one of his moments of silence but filled with thrill and joy...it was written all over his face and he knew it! Thanked my class teacher and my muse to have got me this far and it was then that I had a breath of relief...that the battle had drawn to a close...victory it was and it tasted sweet.

But somehow, this felt the end of the beginning of the war...more fuel now was added to the fire and a battle cry now turned into a well planned journey. With many more dreams in its cradle, this has now become a journey with a broader perspective and a larger goal. The first battle took 12 years for sure...but the war is far from over...and the darkknight is now looking forward to it.

Dear Meera...if you are reading this, thanks a lot for everything! :)

(Tommie Smith and John Carlos give the Black Power salute at the 1968 Olympics)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_Olympics_Black_Power_Salute

To hold on...try letting go!

A hug can be a sign of love and compassion...but the more you begin to hold on and squeeze and show the next degree of passion, one begins to lose breath. The worse may happen when one may choke and gasp for breath...that's when we realize that you were closer to death than life! This could be at any abstract level and at any level in life and with any relationship one may be in.

A recent incident which I was witnessing between two important people in my life and many instances of many people in and around me...including myself...led me to this conclusion (in MBA jargon...I have done my primary research) that...to hold on, one must at times...let go! You might have come across this quote in some forwarded chain e-mail or a cheesy romantic poster in a gift shop or a greeting card outlet (which is in its dying stages) and dusted it off your shoulder like a bygone cliche.

However cliched I might sound in preaching this quote, I somehow realized that whoever penned that line, did have to go through something or someone in life to actually come up with something of that sort! I also realized that at times, its not only got to do with lovers...but relationships at any angle, level or distance. That's when it stuck me that the same feelings that I have gone through in my past and what all I did to gasp for breath or give the other person a chance to breathe!

Most of us hold reasons citing insecurity or doubt or just pure jealousy or what not! At the end of the deal, until things aren't written on paper or confirmed by oath, nothing can be sure of (Im not debating on that at all here!). But problems when all is said and done...when the unknown becomes the known and the basis of the relationship becomes mundane and predictable. Do we still cling on to our old hopes and fascinations or do we let our love blossom in the freedom of space?

At times, we refuse or argue with our loved ones on taking their chosen paths of their dreams or the risks they have been preparing for ages just because the outcome may hurt them...but for them that pain is not the gain as an ultimate outcome...it is to do what they always wanted to do. What we see as pain for them is a superficial and a scratch on the surface...there is always something deeper and if we tend to appreciate and encourage that, we will eventually lift their spirits and tend to pull them to ourselves and not push them away...which is where my point of hugging and not letting go because they might not come back is all but a belief which can be easily dismantled. No one likes being suffocated...a warm mild hug or wrap around is much comforting that that bear-grip...which might dig deep, hold veins, clot blood and rush a breath or even quicken a beat...

Whatever said and done, wouldn't we feel closer to those who knew our freedom and our choices and let us be but still be in open arms whenever we needed it? If Im asking too much...well, what can I do but hope for the best person to come across then! When kids feel the same as I do, why not when we all grow up to what we become and the values that we begin to follow? Who are we to govern others choices and draw the line for 'them' when they know where to draw their own?

Simple, if we have to live in harmony or in whatever cheesy or corny or cliched term it might sound like, wouldn't we want to live free? Wouldn't we want to do what we feel like...keeping the line of sanity in mind and still return to our havens when we please? I might sound selfish or even judgmental or questionable...but isn't it a thought worth pondering over? Imagine if were holding on to a rope to keep yourself from falling but you feel that same rope slowly slither to your neck, wrapping itself around...the same rope that you held on to your dear life is now the noose calling you to its realm of doom...Im presenting this scene to both the 'ropee' and the 'ropester'! (Ah...the pleasure of poetic license!).

Well, being human, I wouldn't proclaim myself to be able to let go to just hold on...I would have my reservations and evaluate if the risk was worth taking or let the other half decide what was best...ultimately it works mutually and it takes time and effort to reach that level. Simple...it all starts with a conversation...honest and two-way...listening and talking! Sounds so basic and simple...at times which we fail to do this much! Ive seen it happen with my family, friends and foes...all around me! It pains me to see someone unable to chase their dreams just because someone else felt or said that it was too much of a risk or it wasn't worth it at all!

Well, I am writing this today because I have defied statements that have been the noose to me and embraced those who were willing to lift me to a higher plane. Its simple and straight...that to be loved and love, one has to just let go to hold on to what we treasure and label as the most special person.

And since we are mere mortals, please ensure that you do not over-preach and let go that you lose sight...not too far that you run out of the thread to lose your grip on the flamboyant kite that in freedom steers in the skies.

Let it fly...and see it smile in the skies where it belongs. It will return at sunset as long the thread is in your hands and if you've let it fly and let it touch the skies and even race with the birds and have a little chat with the passing sun...

Sometimes I feel like...'Super-Man'

All fans and non-fans might know certain facts about Superman...impossible as they may seem but nevertheless interesting! As one may know, certain super-hero characteristics are derived from basic human abilities and positioned as a super powers to such characters. So what makes me feel like Superman? Read on to know more...

It all began in my school days when I was in Delhi...when I discovered what winters actually were like. Each time in class, when the breaks would arrive, despite the woolens we wore, the guys used to rush out with a war cry which went like "chal dhoop sekte hai yaar"...which literaly means lets soak in the sun friends! At that point of time, coming from Chennai, the best thing to have ever happened to me was the winter (because as one might know, we have 4 summers and the occasional monsoon). The boy who ran away from the sun and at times got baked and cooked up in the sun, was now a fan of the sun...how?

To those who have experienced the legendary Delhi winters wouldn't agree any further...especially when an invisible foggy morning engulfs the entire city and one can actually feel like a walk in the clouds. But what rescues that moment is the invasion of light...the emergence of the sun! In the winters, what gives relief in such a bone chilling moment is indeed...the sun! The sight of light in itself gives the eye a much needed break from darkness and gloom!

But the best part was when the suns rays would just easily caress the frozen and broken skin giving hope to a goose-bumping moment that would arouse even a dead hope...almost erotic! A massage to be quite honest when the muscles and the mind relaxes at such a moment...I didnt feel any better before and this to me was quite a revelation as time passed by! The power of the sun is indeed beyond ones imagination and so can it actually touch us all in such critical moments! To me, it did...

Moments in school with the sunshine during the winters just became an occasion for everyone in the class to exchange a funny moment or two and the entire school would be out soaking in the power of the sun...which brings me now to Superman! The other day at work, I was feeling a bit feverish and a shiver was keeping me chattering for a while...the A/C in the office beat the living hell out of me...but something from my past struck my head as a solution to all the trouble...

Like how Superman would fly to the skies when he was affected by Kryptonite to regain his energy and recharge his powers...I rushed to do the same...ran (though Superman flies) to the open terrace canteen where the sun shone like a diamond...and just stood there...embracing the powers. It was a feeling that took me back to so many years of my antics in school...and it worked! The tingling feeling began right from my neck and gradually flowed from my back, relaxing the muscles and the mind...killing the shivers I had a few minutes back.

It was a magical and powerful moment and what an amazing feeling! Needless to say...a little over-exposure resulted in a slight frying feel and then I felt it was time to rush back to my workstation. But for those few minutes, I got my universal medicine and it was priceless!

The next day...unusually after the sun's treatment, I happened to fall sick and a 2 week bed rest ensued...which is another story altogether...for which I wouldnt blame the sun...but myself! But that is why...not 'everytime'...but sometimes I feel like Superman...

The Rise of the Underground

I was reading an interesting article on WWII where many nations were torn apart, their governments were brought down, history and culture was destroyed, architecture & monuments were razed and what not (the same being mentioned in our history books from start to end...with pictures to back them all up). Such moments in any country's history does breed a lot of hatred and rage that the generation had witnesses and over a period of time, most of it all, culminates into something significant and tangible. This is not a history lesson but 'history' itself in the light of realism...

The concept of "The Underground" literally symbolises a movement or a resistance which is not visible on the surface of any ruling body. This is no book or a refered definition, but an interpretation of my perspective. When I was reading about the Polish Underground State on Wikipedia, what struck me the hardest was that even in dire times like war, was how just a group of individuals could make the biggest difference to their country in the best possible way. When the Germans were on their Blitzkreig mission, they were razing various cities to the ground and that included buildings, museums, schools, churches, books, artifacts, monuments and most importantly...people and their families. At the heart of it all...the roots and the culture was on the verge of a downfall which would have taken centuries to build and establish.

In such critical times, a few inspired (rather enraged) individuals collectively joined hands to survive the ordeal and literally moved into underground makeshift bunkers and corridors. They would help the other survivors move in and would collect all bare necessities and basics to survive the war and the extreme weather. The main intent of creating such bunkers is to evade crossfire and air-raids that bombed cities in pockets. As one can imagine, not all survived it all and not everyone could fit in the bunkers amidst the chaos. It was also used to survive the bitter and cruel winters.

Interestingly, in such movements, there was always an assumed or a looked-up-to leader who would involuntarily take charge but in many cases, democracy was practiced and many people chose their leaders. Under many a leader, these movements and messages would spread rapidly and many revolts and attacks would be carried out on a strategic basis and results were quick and hard fought. That was the strength of an underground movement. Imagine how many lives have been lost and found in such struggles in any given critical moment in a country and its countrymen's lives!

This concept of an underground has spread to many fields and understandably so...the acceptance of the culture openly has resulted in certain Devil's Rejects to find shelter in places away from critics and have a sanctum of their own...by virtue of The Underground. Be it music, art, dance, poetry, technology, religion, sport etc. Whatever has been written off by critics across has certainly gained what the term is called 'Cult Status'. According to me, the world chooses to see what it wants and conveniently dethrones what it cannot withstand or which it cannot call a contemporary or a people-favorite. In the name of business, many a natural talent has been swept to the underground...in the fear of elimination of what already is and has been doing well in their fields.

According to me, if it wasnt for narrow minds, this underground wouldnt have existed. I try to reason this by asking myself, why do human beings become rebels...because in dire times when survival is a matter of life and death, what does one do when the rope is too tight around the neck? Well the answer is simple...do whatever it takes to be free...and live to fight another day! According to me, it is the attitude of this-is-right-this-is-wrong rule setters who create the underground! Let it be...leave them be...Nothing is ours....it will never be...we were born empty handed and we will die empty handed...why write rules and create a rebel in the youth that ends up deep down in underground movements....frustrated and traumatised!

Enough of the rambling...as one can notice...I myself have had a taste of such feelings and though I havent been a part of any underground movements, with the current state of things in our country, I feel one day I will eventually become a part of one. But the best part of todays underground is that they are not afraid...they are fearless and do not hesitate to express their intent. Which is why slowly, certain underground movements have come in the open and is now more visible than ever. Nevertheless, they are but still an integral part of the Underground movement.

But here is the deal...now we are out in the open and we are changing the world for good...the youth of today are on a mission and this according to me is the single biggest underground movement in this history of this planet! This is getting bigger than any living or dead governments and will one day overthrow all written rules and regulations to make this a free world...where there will be no crime, no loopholes, no corruption, no rapes, no murders, no wars, no genocide, no religion, no enemies and no fear (one can add to this wish-list).

It is on that day when those who criticized the world, will need to take shelter from the underground and will eventually have to let them re-write the pages of history. These are certain dark times where heroes arise from the darkest corners to bring light to those who deserve peace and justice ( I know I sound as corny as one can get but what the hell). It is in such times I wait and long for a hero/heroine...who will end all foulness, destroy confusion, destroyer darkness and annihilate ignorance. Does the name 'Kalki' ring a bell?

In all of this, I might receive opposing views and reviews on how Ive positioned this article but does it matter when we there is a living hell that openly slumbers in the belly of the beast?. If we dont deal with this, then what they have accumulated as so called wealth and power will push us to the depths of misery. I am no evangelist, but here I am...calling to all the young and free spirits from the Underground...arise and come to the open and let us all join hands to bring this rusting and decaying world by coloring it right and rescue it from its own downfall...let it not be the fall of another Roman Empire...

PS - All the text written and mentioned above is not directed towards any specific group or movement that exists. This is purely a personal perspective and does not contain any hidden or mis-directed message. However, if one still feels so, then I seriously think that you belong to the government or to the ones they call critics! Have a nice day...

A Thankless Job!

Camera zooms out...as far as outerspace - Planet earth is colored 70% in blue and the remaining 30% in white, green and brown. The 30% that I just mentioned helps us breathe and survive and lest we realize, its soon going to change.

Camera zooms in...as close to Chennai at Mount Road - With a varied mix of percentages, my world is covered in black, white and shades of grey and lest I realize, Im about to melt and drop dead. It was at this moment when I had to halt at this signal stopping where something unusual happened.

Mount Road in Chennai is a stretch which has no trees planted but have medians which have saplings planted just for beauty sake. In my usual routine of riding to work amidst all the madness, today was a tad tough time on the road with respect to the heat, noise and the smoke around. It was then that a sapling on the median on the road placed its shade by the order of the winds like a blessing in disguise to protect me from the heat. For a moment, the world within the shade seemed like a different weather altogether! My shrunk eyes were wide open and its been a while since Ive seen Mount Road that clearly! The soaring temprature turned to a caressing moment which calmed me in no time and brought the world around me to a silent shroud...

I turned around to see a cute child like sapling and I could literally see it smile and all I could give back or rather say was...'thanks'. It was the only thing I could even say...but in a few minutes, I had to race to work from that oasis to another barren concrete journey.

I sometimes wonder, how much can we pain this planet and bring more convenience to our lives! We must realize that the oxygen we breathe are from the trees we seed. We cut them like they had no purpose or like they had no life! What if nature fought back...would we be able to withstand the attack? Would they hear our cries of forgiveness? Think about it...hasnt mother nature had enough of all the atrocities mankind has brought upon?

The shades of the trees dont come of use to them and still we want to dispose them off their roots to build a better place! What on God's name are we upto...digging our own graves? Dont they bear the brunt of the sun and the storm to protect us? Why as kids did we play around them like they were our grandparents and when we grow up, hell bent on uprooting them? Food for thought isnt it? Doesnt it also sound like we are biting the hand that feeds us? Crude but still worth thinking about...

An author's inspiration, a poet's muse, a duet's destination...amidst other common purposes of any living being. Shouldnt it be our sworn duty to protect them for what theyve done over the centuries to build our ecosystem? Above all, in today's economic value by virtue of ones salary, do we even remunerate them for services rendered? Well, isn't this then, an eternally thankless job?

Never Say Die...

Ive always craved to meet a godfatherly type of person in my life for various reasons. Someone who could show me the way or even tell me if this was the best thing to do or the best way to do anything I aspired. Unfortunately, in that search in trying to find one, I tread on a self driven and to be honest which wasnt the easiest and not the wisest to do. My belief is that if there isnt an external intervention, we journey with only a personal perspective that guides us throughout (which most often isnt the complete picture). I missed doing a lot of things in life for which I regret at this age...but here is the best part...ive also learnt something aweosme by taking my own path...its never late to do anything in life. A dream is a dream and an effort doesnt depend on age at all. It is therefore a challenge to all those who have almost or nearly given up...never say 'die'.

As a person, Ive always enjoyed encouraging people...get the positive vibe across and be a part of their success. There is so much joy i experience that sometimes I thought of becoming a coach (which I dint want to tread towards deliberately). It doesnt matter who or where or when...my general feeling is that everyone has an ability they might or might not be aware of. Im not here to preach the Nothing is Impossible theory but to an extent...if we set a dream for ourselves...chasing it will certainly take us somewhere if not for nowhere. You might encourage a kid to take its first walk or an retired officer to take up singing...doesnt matter. Its all about helping people re-discovering or uncovering their abilities.

According to me (and many more philosophers around the world) believe that its never too late to do anything in life. We live only once (hereby denying the theory of an afterlife) and I believe we must live it by doing what we always love and cherish and stop cribbing that we can't! Imagine the time we must have wasted thinking we can't than how much time we could have used by saying 'why not'!

So keeping all of this in mind, here is a perspective of how we can let others realize their long lost but aspiring dream of doing whatever they had in mind. Its very simple...all it takes is a little push! Obviously it musnt be taken in its literal sense so let me unfold this mystery to all those who deserve that push and to those who are willing to give one...

Here is a little trick first hand...there is no way you can identify exceptional talent in an off-hand manner...you can only come across one. It is because they have already found their potential and they only need to elevate themselves from a stage to the spotlight. The key is in identifying those who had that dream but due to various circumstances or limitations might not have been able to see their dreams become reality. The fact that they wanted to be like superstars might be a distant dream but at least they might get a second start. To see someone smile after theyve made their first attempt at their dreams is something I feel thrilled about because it is that small step that gives them that giant leap.

Why am I preaching so much? Why do I sound like a Business Baron whos written a 400 pager book which keeps delivering the same message? Am I sounding like a coach whos got a career or trying to make one? So many questions in your minds and I can already sense it. But, to be honest with you all, I just love encouraging people who dream...if there is a passion in life, I enjoy helping people find it and bring it to reality. Any little skill or hobby that they possess, I try to push them to take it to a bigger level...Im not building champions or winners here but just helping normal people do something extra-ordinary in whatever scale they wish to. Do note that any dream can go far only as much as how far you want it to go...I only help in the trigger (which according to me is the toughest job). But as they say...a good start is half the job done.

Most of my effort is actually unplanned and it all begins when I come across a person who is generally cynical about things around or someone who is depressed or an introvert in life. Actually they are easy to find but hard to get around with...positive people are hard to find and easy to get around with. So that actual effort is to turn them from at their current degree of their downward spiral to a higher spiral where they see a little relief in their current predicament. Its all about belief and hope...if you can instill any one of this, then it certainly works...takes time but worth the investment.

Most cases where I have tried this theory, there has been a lot of positive response and the other person's happiness and hope is the sign of instant success. This theory is entirely self tested as well...let me explain! My brother has been playing the guitar for the last 6 years and obviously the kind of music Ive influenced him with. So the root of it all actually was the listening exercise that we used to have whenever school or college would get over and when we would play the music on the speakers. The best part was he was inspired immediately to play but I was still stuck at listening and researching music...whereas he was at a total upward spiral. When the time came when we got him an electric guitar, I was still listening and researching and he was playing faster and faster. He kept pushing me to play and all I kept telling him that there were too many strings and frets and it was just impossible! It actually took him so many years to successfully convince me to pick a guitar when one fine day he said that they needed a band-mate and I was there but was of no use despite my know-how! And that day I wasn't hurt...I was actually inspired! It was that same day I stepped out to the music shop and got myself a guitar. Its almost a year now and I aspire to become a bass guitarist one day and im 26 years old. Most people think that its too late to do anything...I dint dare to dream to do this until I was 25 (thats almost a third of my life if I were to live a hopeful 75!).

I once tried teaching a 7 or 8 year old boy of a labourer's family at a construction site on how to bowl and he was an aspiring left arm fast bowler...he grew so much in confidence that moment and his pace increased with every attempt and his smile became a mean grin like he was already in a match or so. That brought me so much joy that I could feel the enthusiasm get better and better with just a few words and continuous encouragement.

I once met a small boy (from a fisherman's family) selling flowers at the beach and he was pretty persuasive with me and a friend...and then I took a conversation with him and asked him about his aspirations (this was the time when APJ Abdul Kalam was the president)...and he mentioned that he would like to be like APJ Abdul Kalam. So i told him...its possible provided you do well in school and you stopped selling flowers. But that was one of his family's incomes and he wouldnt be able to . But then I couldnt deprive his family too...so I told him to take his schooling as primary importance and then his profession only if he had free time. He went back to his sales merrily and I almost found an amazing sales and marketing guy there...he could sell and I had to buy his product (though the flowers were meant for my friend). I did nothing there but just sow the seed of confidence.

This is just my tip of the iceberg...there are so many of them like that and imagine if all of them could do wonders if they all realized their potentials...young or old. All it takes is a little push. Find them and help them...give them that little confidence and they will see you as their godfathers or godmothers...it matters so much to them. It might be a struggle if they dont breakthrough but at least they will attempt. As the olympics emphatically states...its not about winning...its about participating. Lets help these lost souls that have given up to find a good reason why they should be happy again...

Another angle that I tell people to take in life is that we must prepare oursleves to lead 2 lives in one (No derogatory interpretations here please). In todays work pressures, it is so difficult to pursue our interests or even small hobbies which we once cherished when were in school or in college. We must push to lead 2 lives...how...its simple! When we finish work and return to our homes and havens...(which is tough and most unpredictable) one must switch off from work life and pursue some interest so that they are connected to themselves.

I know its easier said than done (I cannot help people who possess Blackberries). I even urge people with kids to help their kids pursue their interests and in that manner...rediscover theirs! Sometimes its so heartening to see your kids take up your dreams where you had left them doesnt it! Think about it...those who couldnt...can teach! And there is no dialogue called - I dont have time or there just isnt any! I think we must get over this line and make time. I know friends who are into so many things despite working or studying...Ive seen it and its possible.

So, now you can imagine...if I have started to play the guitar (and Im proud to say so despite my limited knowledge)...anyone can begin a dream and make it come true at any point of time in their lives. By doing so, make sure you pass the vibe and energy to others around you...young or old and see the magic unfold in front of your eyes. Help those who deserve it and tell them that once what was given up, those dreams must never die...

Damnatio Memoriae

The evolution of Mankind has come of age and has always evolved at the cost of something or someone...certainly our kinds hasnt been the kindest of kinds in scripting the ages with what we now know as history. Many stories were written and many not penned...with those written also have been questioned on its authenticity and accuracy, leading us to believe that what is on paper is true forever and those who wrote it are no more. Normal beings projected as demi-gods and those who questioned the system laid to rest...this was the feeling when I came across this latin phrase which literally means "Damnation of Memory". When a Damnatio Memoria was issued, all historical references to that person were destroyed or erased and any statues or paintings of them were defaced beyond recognition forcefully so that it was impossible to even tell who they were or what they looked like (since it was such an important thing in those cultures to have people remember ones legacy).

When the word Truth comes to mind...I think of the following words - Ugly, Bare, Naked, Hurt, Lies, Hope, Eternal etc. As one can see these are not comfortable words and are a touch too heavy for anyone to deal with in their lives. Correct me if I am wrong...but we are more comfortable to keep the truth aside and deal like it wasnt there at all...the big 'White Elephant' in the room. Wonder how our history books were written...was it to please the people that something good always happened or hide what one wouldnt want to know of the past (all the same right...but its still a perspective).

The origin of this concept is again lost in eternal time and ironically (rather conveniently) has been tracked from the Roman Empire where the hunger for power and sworn secrecy gave birth to bitter foes right from the common man to any of the proclaimed Ceasers (not only Julius). Some say this was practiced to protect the sanity of the empire...according to me, it was done to hide the insanity behind any empire. Such a practice is still existing in todays world...imagine how may whistle-blowers fate are at stake or are on the edge of of a knife or with a gun to their heads. Imagine how many of them would have died with a secret held deep inside if upon revelation would have changed the course of our lives...but at what cost?

Truth has its forms and lessons that we can learn...hardest and toughest moments if strung together on a rope could swing the earth from each end fo the galaxy...such is the power. Imagine lost people, lost cities, lost secrets and lost moments...how much do we not know...how much has been deliberately hidden or ceased to exist...rather wiped out from the face of this earth. I feel that conspiracy theories have a certain origin and emerge from the need to know the unknown. Our lives have circulated amidst tweeked truth and a painted past...probably we arent ready to face the truth and bear the brunt of paying the price...which might be the heaviest yet! We sometimes refrain from our own reflections and refuse to look into the mirror and face our past...something we want to do away with at times...and I think its our own choice...which is not what I am against. What I am against is that when the same right has been in someone else's control or discretion (when things are not in our hand).

How much could we have lost, how much could we have gained...is an interesting debate which Id like to have from the readers...its a question we all would like to have a voice on. When I discovered this word on Wikipedia, I was apalled by the fact that there were so many instances of Damnatio Memoriae...every nation has a history of Damnatio Memoriae and in the age of e-world, there are lesser chances that we dont know anything...the only thing we dont know is the un-documented or un-scripted past. To give you an interesting head-start on this subject, read more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damnatio_memoriae. On this note, Id like to leave you with a few lines to mull about:

He who once lived is no more

In pages and in the minds of men

To those who rob the sun's glory

Are those who ignite the king’s fury...

The Emperor Domitian Setting out, relief from the Cancelleria, Rome, 80-90 AD. The head of Domitian, the fourth figure on the left, was recarved as a portrait of his successor Nerva after Domitian suffered damnatio memoriae. On the left hand side of the panel are images of the gods Mars and Minerva. The Emperor is followed by the goddess Roma and the genius of the Roman Senate (a personification of that body). Source - http://employees.oneonta.edu/farberas/ARTH/arth200/politics/big_man.html

Back Pocket Logic

The 'Bolt from the blue'...from someone I knew. Something hit me down a few days back and I was compelled to think about it day on after that moment and I mulled over the fact that I was a victim to the same...Logic! At times, we see adverts that describe kids being snappy about their ideas and hence turning out to be logical...so many adverts on how the youth sound logical to the ears of the old school. That day at home, it was logic from the other era! Stumped I was...by a deadly googly...completely bowled over! You'll know as you read on.

Getting ready for office wasnt eventful as ever except on this day when nothing but a 'logical thought' bolted across from the corner room where my paternal grandpa's sister resides. Well, shes approaching 85 years and like the veterans of our previous generations, had more presence and longevity than anyone in the room...just a sore back to indicate the quantum of work that woman has done in all those years. Amidst her singing and chanting in her room, I was blasting my metal music in mine...two extremes in one home. A discussion soon sparked out with her and my mom and that was what caught my attention...it wasnt about the music for sure!

"Amma...wheres my purse?" I screamt amidst all the noise and commotion of the morning chores..."On the table only naaa..." replied my mom...and right as ever she was. This was when I noticed my grandma walk past on her usual walking exercise but stand still when she saw this happening. After her rounds, she called my mom and asked her a simple question..."Why do people keep their purses in their back pocket of their pants?" in a very naive manner but in a staunch and pure Tamil...right from Srirangam. As expected...the whole home fell speechless and rattled us all for a moment...the day the earth stood still. Not expecting us to answer, she replied by herself...

"Sometimes people complain that they dont have enough money to spend or they are unable to save enough for the future!!! People complain of thefts and pick-pockets too...do you know why? I cant understand this logic...let me tell you why. People keep their purses near their buttocks where the only biological function is excretion...the same will be the philosophical correlation to your purse...money will only be spent and not saved! People keep their purses in their back pockets and go ahead...when these days people are unable to see things ahead of them...how can you expect to take care of your purse when it is behind your sight? Hence the temptation for strangers and miscreants to pick-pocket and more the chances of thefts! In our days, they used to make shirts with pockets stitched on the inside of shirts and this had a sound logic. We were always told to keep the purse or our money in our chest pockets...and this is where the 'heart' was...'Lakshmi' (Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity) is where the heart is...today it is somewhere else...and we complain of spendings and thefts. How can anyone even dare to put their hands into your shirts and try to steal? Isnt that tough to do than keeping it in your back pockets? Dont you have any shirts like that?

The only reply we had was "They dont make any like that"...in fact it wasnt the right answer and she did not expect an answer. There was no answer actually...the fact is that we buy branded shirts that really dont serve such smaller purposes. Was she kidding us...'hell no' she wasnt! It was at this moment, where we were all still on our feet and she slowly waltzed back into her room expecting no answer...such was the spirit and such was her obsvervation and anaylsis. That was the moment I felt stumped in a long time in life...harsh lessons with a subtle question. I was speechless (so were the others too) and the only thing I could do was smile all the way to my way to office like a fool with a revelation to share...such was the impact of that logic...coined the "Back Pocket Logic"

Though that hit me the hardest and I realized the toll it took on me for the rest of the day, I am yet to find a shirt like that...honestly, they do not make any. The truth is also, that the shirts that I choose are branded and they do not make those kind of styles anymore...and God (too) hardly makes wise people and logical gurus like my Grandma anymore...

The Documents of Darkness...

As I move into my second organization, there is a mandatory process which haunts me all the time for it demands me to dig into my past...a dark past. Though this is not the first time, it still brings back a lot of forgettable memories to what I am on paper compared to what I come across as a person to people. Well, some places tend accept you for what you are on paper than by willing to understanding...then for what purpose are institutions for one might ask...

Well to be honest, I wasn't great in school and college and situationally I found it difficult to cope with pressures. I was a slow learner and at snail pace, understood what was taught to me in the year what was taught to me in the previous one. For example - I was king in solving quadratic equations...but only when I was in class 9 whereas it was taught in class 7 or 8. I used to love Geometry but I only got a hold of it when I was in class 10 where it was taught in class 6! Such was my pace...the only subject that I had a hold of was Language...English, Hindi and Sanskrit. I was pretty cool in subjects like Geography and History...mostly dead subjects of what was and has beens. I thought I was bad but there were worse cases also in my class which I wish not to divulge. Strange though...my parents werent really aware of my conditions because, somehow I used to score decently and get away with it. In class, I would always be day dreaming, doodling, playing book cricket, actual cricket, crack useless adolescent jokes and be in a world of my own...everything except studying. I was even afraid to ask doubts because, the ones that I had a doubt about, would be in the previous lesson and the class is in the next lesson already! All the neglect and ignorance and lost in my own world syndrome eventually started my creative writing journey early in school which later formed my path to some sort of glory to what I am today.

But what was best about all of this was that most of the kids in school and in college dint view me like that...they understood me more than my shoddy academics and respected me for what I was but unfortunately, I wasnt able to match the same with them in terms of my performances, which was very disheartening to me. I was pretty good at having a conversation with boys, girls, juniors, seniors, teachers, professors etc. I wasnt that bad in joking and fooling around with people too...I loved the company of people and I hope it was vice versa too! I wasnt that bad in sports and games too...decent in Athletics and Cricket and I also used to be a key member of the students cabinet too!!! I was an avid quizzer and a budding poet right from my schooling days and it still continues to be my passions in life. As one can see...nothing academical so far...

As most might 'consider' by now...sorry, 'conclude' by now, is that everything besides studies excited me the most. But what one must understand that I tried my best with my academics and passed out only as an average student but a better and stronger person. All said and done, in our societies, until one is a topper or a rank holder, they would eventually be disregarded to an extent where even finding a groom or a bride becomes next to impossible. I still wonder what the spouses would do with their marksheets once they get married!!! On a lighter note, the recent IIT pass out family killings throws a darker tone compared to what simpler people can imagine to do. What I intend to state is that not all academically profecient people are no guarantors to being perfect people. We all have inconsistencies...it just depends on what aspects are we in...professionally or personally. Its a choice we all have to correct...depends on which one.

Lets bring this discussion to a more lighter vein. I mean no disrespect to all the great minds around...and I mean it. Its just an observation and a self-assuring stand that Im certainly not the only one thinking on these lines. Our Indian Society has been built on a premises that people with low academic achievements are doomed to no end and this according to me is a grave assumption. I saw my inefficiency as a blessing and as a sign of a hidden talent in me to which I had to discover just like discovering an alter ego...and this was the origin of my pseudonym - 'darkknight' This was an interesting journey and I will not delve in detail in this piece. One of my write ups titled "A decade of writing" can shed more light if one needs to know more. What I am trying to convey is that if one door is closed in one's life...there is always another door in the dark that needs to be searched for and which needs to be open to let the light in and let others know that there is always a way out and there is always light at the end of darkness. (Phew...that was a long construct!)

On conclusion, we always tend to think in a way which puts us in an awkward situation which where we consider 'what woud others think of us' and 'what would they think if we did this', 'if we did this, did that' et al. But what I have learnt now and more assuringly after the recent documentation submission in my new organization is that one must be aware of not only ones surroundings but also with ones own beliefs and perspectives. Once that stage is attained, marksheets of the past which one might have considered the documents of darkness...will fade away into light and bring out the best in us. Believe me, it isnt a pleasant past, but surely a bright future...

People respect you for what you are and what you have achieved. This can be on paper and can be on performance. What is performed sometimes is captured on paper...sometimes it is captured on character. The latter takes a longer time to discover but eventually lasts forever...

El Toro!!!

Disposing needless and useless things and items was the call of the day that week when we were moving to a new place and this was a sad day indeed. Ive been riding my Honda Activa for the last 2 years and before that I used to take the local bus to go to office. But the most memorable rides to all my previous destinations has been on my red Hercules MTB bicycle...aptly named El Toro! This day was sad because, after 5 years of neglect and ignorance, my El Toro was gone...sold to someone who would find use and purpose. I used to park my vehicle next to my bicycle each day, give it a little tragic look and walk up the stairs to go home. For 5 years, this went on until this day when I parked my vehicle, only not to find my good old El Toro...missing. Mom then told me that the cycle repair boy had sold it to another boy who needed it badly. A moment went by when a tear peeped out of my eye, with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat, making me feel like I had lost something very near and dear in life...I shall tell you why...

Anyone who looks at me now can surely say that I wasnt a cycling enthusiast...if they had seen me 5 years back, they'd bet their word sayin that I was one. Such was the story of me and my El Toro...a unique friendship or a hobby in a way that helped me communicate with myself. Some thought I was a schizophrenic but that was only their perception, to me it was a passion and I loved every moment of it. More to say, Ive been my true self and Ive had most fun with myself when Ive been with El Toro...nothing substitutes and nothing comes close to those days of cycling.

My bicycle was a red and black colored Hercules Mountain Terrain Bicycle...this was one of my many cycles Ive had in my life and certainly one of my best. In our tough times, it even helped my dad and brother commute to their workplace and school respectively and I was proud of my bicycle. In tough times, we did not have a vehicle to commute or dint have enough money to go in an auto rickshaw...in such times, my bicycle was the only vehicle we could afford and probably the best thing that ever happened to me especially. Ive been passionate about cycling since I was 3 years old and I wasnt wanting to be a racer or so but a passion I was willing to invest in just for myself and not for the world to see.

But this post is about my last adventures with my last bicycle...El Toro in the mean streets of Chennai. You can imagine of any possible situation and encounter and Ive had almost all of it on my bicycle. El Toro's reign began from the year 2000 and ended in 2005 with a retirement till 2009. I used this as an opportunity to stay fit after I completed my school and since I was big time into a lot of sport and games and I couldnt sit still when I came back to Chennai in 2000 - 2001 with no friends to chill out with. It was then El Torro came into my life and as they say...the machine chooses the rider and not the other way around...that was the bond that I found.

Ive been chasing cars, bikes and buses, being chased by dogs and cops, bikes and cars, making sharp and nasty turns, had bad falls, being hit, abused at, abusing, belittled, battled and bruised, brashful, speed demoning, long cruise modes, early mornings, late night rash anxious rides, handsfree tricks, sight seeings, flirtings, conversations, races, one wheeling, step jumps, brake fails, flat tyres, broken lights, double and triple rides, renting, repairing, damaging, intimidated, challenged, lost, won, rescued, arriving soon, late, getting stuck, beating traffic jams and being with myself.

As I take a deep breath, I see a rush of images run past my mind and I am reminded of my El Toro...I had to let go. It was tough but it was necessary for both of us. With a heavy heart and a sigh over my past, I recede into my world of corporate ambtions and hopes with dreams of making it big, knowing that there was a past where I was already on a high with an old friend of mine.

It might sound corny or cliched but, I certainly believe when people say that we dont realize the value of someone or something until we have lost them or lost it. It is so true and I would stand by it till my last breath...may you be in peace wherever you are after all those years of glory. Hope to meet you on the other side...El Toro...

PS - On a lighter note, to those who dont know the name reference of my bicycle to 'El Toro' - here is a link -
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bully_For_Bugs

or just check out this video right here!!! -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVwv_1EhitI

Missing Mylapore...

As I type these words, I have moved away from a place they say is the cultural heart of Chennai to a place which they say is the commercial heart of Chennai. Yes indeed, the departure from Myalpore and my arrival at T.Nagar has been complete and I am now a resident of T.Nagar. In announcing all of this, there is a lot of joy and pain that goes hand in hand...the pain of missing Mylapore where we stayed for about 7 years (we lived in Mandaveli before that, which borders Mylapore)...

People believe that one doesnt realize the worth of something or someone until or unless they are far away or have lost it. I certainly believe in that philosophy and I felt it when I shifted out of Mylapore with a heavy heart. I dint feel it until I stepped into our new home in T.Nagar. Emptiness is a hollow wind blowing cold and heavy which is what exactly I felt when I stood in my home in Mylapore and I could hear the echoes of the past and my blurry eyes recalled every moment which is etched in my memory. A single bedroom house and five of us (My parents, brother, grandpa and me) used to stay...smaller walls making people closer and more tightly knit. We have been through it all...good times and bad times (ala Led Zeppelin) in that old place and it brings a smile and a tear whenever I sit back and reflect.

I will not talk about the cultural significances of Mylapore because its the most over-written subjects in recent times and it would only be an overdose of what not! Instead Ill touch upon certain aspects that have been memorable in my pages...the good, the bad and the ugly.

The proximity to everything is what keeps this place in top demand for any resident who wishes to settle in the suburbans. Everything is a stone's throw away...even the street dogs! What amazes me the most of this place is the diversity and the festive mood of the market even on a normal day, leave alone the ceremonial festivals and the recitals. Colorful people, plenty of them, draped in their best in any given moment and little boys with pig-tailed priests chanting the morning verses roaming from door to door for bhikshaam. Religion is the core that binds Mylapore...be it any entity or form, its all there and in every street there is either a temple or a mosque or a church that keeps people in the right and moral frame of mind. There is some sanity amidst the chaos that surrounds this bustling settlement.

Let me describe T.Nagar now...a commercial hub (and what a shift from a religious hub!) and shopping is the word that comes to ones mind and this attracts people from all over the 'state' and this is one helluva crowd puller. There is something for everybody and nothing for nobody...well, you can figure that one out now. A husbands nightmare and a wife's paradise...a guys sight seeing zone and a girl's holiday spot...a foodies heaven and pedestrians challenge. A complete residential area where Pondy Bazaar forms the spine from head to tail. What keeps people coming is the affordability and the markets galore. Colour, lights, people and money...its all here and whoever comes to Chennai from wherever in India doesnt miss Pondy Bazaar. Well sadly, im not far away from this place...just a stone's throw...(like I said earlier)!

But there is an ugly side to this all...people are so cold here. When we shifted to our new place, not a soul from the neighbours to even say a Hi! People keep tellin me that its the same wherever we go but Id like to differ with them. This was the worst welcome we had ever recieved...like we werent welcome...there wasnt any anyways!!! Even a nod of the head and a pleasant smile is like a rare sight...I really dont know why people are so scared of even acknowledging neighbours. Guess they knew I was coming (ahem ahem!). But on a serious note...its an apartment but with no one around. The only way I think I can get people talkin or waking up might be by blasting my music which is the best medicine Id reckon.

But hey, this is something Im looking forward to. Its a new place, new people and new dreams and hopes lying ahead of me. Its a tough world and Im willing to face it eye to eye and I hope its fun...else theres nothing worth fighting for. My writing hopefully should take a new direction with all the new things in life and this is very exciting to me especially. The breeze is something that keeps us calm (this is better than Mylapore for sure). But what the hell...isnt change the only constant. Well, time in Mylapore was certainly memorable and it was a good start and a sad end. Its been a little dull for a start here...hopefully things should look up in a few days when the apartment knows that the darkknight is just around the corner!!!

Purely Elemental Synchronization?

There are moments that last forever and there are some that last for a minute. According to me, the most fondly remembered moments are those that last forever. But these moments can take just minutes to happen and need not necessarily take its own sweet time. Those who are able to carefully observe and capture them are the lucky ones for sure as they are just in the right place in the right moment. Wonder where I am heading with this? Does this have any connect with the title? Read on if you are intrigued...

All of my weekends are both sporty and relaxed...and this weekend was no different. I was on my way back home on my two wheeler from my friends place where we regularly played cricket. It was a touch late and my hands were accelerating like I had no control over it, an unusual hurry I thought. I usually play music when I ride to take care of my distractions while riding...it could be a rule breaking or a traffic jam or just a pleasant person that holds my attention. At most times, the tempo and the rhythm of the music, determines the kind of ride I have and this is so true and in most of my rides. Wherever I am, I tend to deeply observe the people and their mannerisms a lot and also the environment in which I am in while I ride or travel generally. But the best place to really think about these things in detail would be during a signal stopping and Ive had my share of some great moments and some odd ones too...bet its the same whoever is reading it this far.

On this evening, at a specific signal stop at R A Puram (near Kaliappa Hospital), while the red was working fine, the amber wasn't and was flickering like an ECG count. Amidst this, there is a high tempo song going on in my MP3 player and this builds up to what I am to explain. The rate at which the amber was flickering was beginning to match with the song playing in my ears and this synch was magical to witness. What a feeling! Above this, to make things better, there was another tempo in which the vehicle was beating when it was on idle and this too had matched exactly to the song in my ears. This was just getting better and I was the only one smiling in the junction and everyone else grim, waiting to be unleashed at the sight of the green signal. But the icing on the cake was up next...the cars ahead of me were to take a left from the signal and their indicators were blinking to signal their intentions. The synch extended and this time it matched with the indicator flickering rate and this was just amazing. The only thing I could do was jus to clap once in true amazement and laugh to myself to what I had just witnessed. For a moment I dint realize that the train of thoughts of the others was derailed by this and they seem to be a little perturbed and also a touch amused...who cared!!!

All of this took place in a span of say hardly two minutes and it was just brilliant and I was perhaps the only person smiling at that signal point at that moment when the others were fuming or just emotionless. For the first time, I dint want the signal to turn green...I was in such child like joy in just witnessing the synch of light and sound. According to me, our attentions has always been pulled by light or by sound and when both happen together, it is a sight to behold and we wouldnt mind swaying our heads or shaking a leg to feel good, wouldnt we?

These are moments we cannot resist but smile about and such small things are the most remembered and cherished. So let me now throw open this field to all and ask you to think about certain instances when light and sound have synched and where you have been the only witness (well not necessarily) where others werent fortunate to even know what you had felt...think about this and see how we can all find small patterns that bring us a big smile in grim moments. I honetsly feel that the elements of light and sound defines and encompasses all what we call essential and important to all life forms.

At the edge of these thoughts, like all breaking dreams at the wrong moments, the green signal finally gave people their passports to their destinations...patience tested and certified. After a quick wake up call by the vehicle behind to get me moving, I raced off quick but calm...homeward bound after witnessing what I call purely an event of Elemental Sychronization!

Happy Holi - Day!!!

This feeling begins from my office desk where its all quiet and buzzing with work and echoing with loud conference calls. What I do then? I open Google and try to search a wallpaper which will brighten any worked up soul around. I search typing apt words simply stating - Happy Holi...and I am so happy by just watching it appear on my desktop. I am the only one even recognizing it in my office and I am not amused. As you might have already figured out, its not a holiday, this being a national festival.

The last time I played Holi was 4 years back when I was doing my MBA in Bangalore. That was the roughest, toughest, rowdiest and the most colorful Holi I had ever played. But the most fun and the light hearted of all was when I was in Delhi where I was pursuing my schooling in 1991 - 92 and from 1997 - 2001. The true spirit of the festival was at its best when I was in Delhi and I am proud to say that I had been there and celebrated it along with like minded souls. Most looked at me at that time as a South Indian celebrating Holi...according to me, I was an Indian from South celebrating a national festival. Symbolically this festival negates any drawn boundary and wipes out any given enemity from face of this earth.

Surprisingly, when I tried to celebrate this when I was back in Chennai to pursue my B.Com, many thought I was bringing a North Indian culture and refused to celebrate simply saying its not a part of our culture. I was amazed and shocked to see some people's reactions and I was petrified to see some people hating the festival because their clothes would get colored and dirty. Well, what could I say? During my days in Delhi, I was the brat when it came to the playground and all the senior citizens in the apartment would hate our gang for breaking the window panes or hitting the ball into their balconies and creating a racket or a little riot and what not. And to my surprise, when we all assembled at the Quadrangle (the name of our apartment garden) to celebrate Holi, all those who despised us, welcomed us in open arms and did not shy an inch from applying colors to them or splashing colored water on them. What joy to see them become one among us and us becoming one among them.

On a lighter note, Holi also served a purpose of mending broken relationships, strained friendships, budding foes and especially secret romantic escapades. These moments are special to all of us because its this time that we get the closest chance one would get to get that glimpse or conversation or that touch...the sheer magic of colors. We all have been through this so theres nothing to be ashamed about now!!! Anyways, I would now leave this to the imagination of those who have been through it and wish not to hurt the sentiments of those who have had otherwise.

Coming to the current reality, given a chance, corporates would scrap this festival down the drain and would ensure that work is at its peak when we find a reason to celebrate. Like the sacrificial lamb of the financial year, festivals like Holi take a beating and continue to be a college or school going kid's or a jobless or a retired citizen's festival. Especially MNCs which have no clue about the significance of Holi. Leave alone that, I work in an Indian company and even they have not declared this day off! Some people just dont like to see others celebrate right? Especially if its towards the last month of the Financial Year!!!

But whatever said and done, the moments surrounding this special festival is just unique and the only theme or feel is just happiness. The sudden water balloon attacks, bombarding passers by with bucket of color water from the 4th floor, welcoming strangers and applying gulals the tilaks and giving them Bhaang and Mithaais especially Gujjia, dancing and singing like there was no tomorrow, water guns and sprays and the battle of the water balloons, free hugs, etc.

On a more factual mode, Holi marks the end of Winter and the beginning of Spring. The festival breathes an air of romance and social merriment. It is said that on this day, people befriend even their enemies and make a new beginning. This festival, as I had mentioned is about letting go whatever has happened and enjoy life together with family and friends. To read and know more on the festival of Holi, do check out - http://www.thecolorsofindia.com/holi.html

Keeping this in mind, I have one question to ask those who shun away from such culturally significant celebrations - What is it that you have against celebrating such joyous occasions?

And I have another question also - Knowing that all our bosses are our enemies, can they or we reconcile at least on this day and request for a 'holi-day' to celebrate this relationship in peace and in joy?

I am still in search of these answers...in the meatime, heres wishing you all a very happy Holi!!!!!!